Caught You!

Ok, the famous Cat In The Hat character caught me. So quietly had the approach been. There he was, just waiting. But the bakery sized brown box was calling as it sat secure, tied with red and white strings. Its contents oozing of just baked goodness … almond paste and nuts splashed with rich chocolate.

I checked about to make sure no eavesdroppers lurked, or worse yet, others wanting the same confection. I loosened the tie and gently coaxed out a cookie. The crescent shape sat only a moment in my hand. Then it was gone. Only the scent hung in the air and a crumb hung on the lips.

Ah, such lovely sweetness.

And it was only one.

Who would know? Would it matter anyhow?

Well … very much so.

Because being genuine and consistent means a lot to me. While there is a continuous swapping of hats, maintaining a steady persona is essential. Yes, worn are the hats of daughter, friend, student, wife, mother, church participant, and vocation as a Professional Counselor. In wearing all these hats a principled, ethical character is required. As a counselor assisting a client, the same moral fiber perceived in the office needs to be seen on the home front. While trading jogging clothes with the dress slacks and shoes, the respectful manner seen at work carries into home with perhaps a bit of a fun, a lighter touch.

Yet there are the daily challenges, like the grocery store.

One day the usual charm with spending enough for a small vacation was missing. Weary, hungry, and gimping with an ailing hip, the focus was on my grocery list—a list that encumbered so many items and piggy back coupons, my head was hurting. I needed to concentrate. So I hastily navigated the carriage and minimally engaged friendly nods and banter with other shoppers. That was until one of the stock workers nudged me and said, “Aren’t you the counselor I’ve seen the newspaper?” She then detailed the troubling situation with her grown son and inquired if it would be possible to meet with him? Here was a request for help from out of nowhere. I almost missed it. This was a reminder that while“the hat” of mom and home care-taker was on, so too was the behavior of a counselor.

I realize that many counseling elements have become part of who I am—those ethics aligned in my personality. Like the overflowing tools, gadgets and hardware in my husband’s toolbox, there is a plethora of items. So I have decided to trim it down. I will detail three; professionalism, resourcefulness and beneficence. And important in all, is promoting confidence in being competent to counsel.

Professionalism. This term details counselor services within the boundaries of their given training, even acquisition of more if necessary. Such training becomes a honed expertise which is a serious contributor to the client’s mental health. Client needs come first. Also within professionalism confidentiality comprises the client-counselor relationship. This privileged information is kept in check in the office and in the maintenance of documented materials. Within this scope, trust and fidelity can be built promoting fairness and equality. As the working parties settle into rocking chair or couch, the process of therapy commences.

Resourcefulness is next. Essentially this is the opportunity given within the counseling relationship to explore creative possibilities with the client, reviewing exciting new paths. Plans are formed and implemented considering personal growth,education, gainful employment. The client is then responsibly launched with a renewed sense of self to embrace a fresh start.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

There is a beginning. The client has made the decision to take a seat in the counseling office. Now is the time to invite him to tell his story. And it is time for me to listen. Find out what brought him to share this story. Listening carefully I attend to the presenting issues, withholding judgments, correction or speedy solutions. Staying in the moment, the client’s situation is gently unraveled. Understanding with an empathic heart, viable connections are established, feasible actions considered. Listening has taken on a satisfying sense—to a new level of being heard.

Now to look at a counseling concept of major importance— benevolence. Simply, benevolence acknowledges the privilege of counselor to client relationship. It is the promise to do no harm—looking out for the best interests of the individual. The focus is on the client. The counselor is the sounding board, the mentor and eventually the prompter of given possibilities. The client takes it from there, personally deciding a life course.

Finally in assisting as the helping professional, there is a deep down smile. I had worn well the therapy hat. Now to head home and put on the supper chef one, wearing both with satisfaction. As I said before, the little things count. But I am not perfect and can always do better. The Cat in the Hat can find me and say, “Hey, you took a cookie!” To that I can reply, “Yes I did, but no longer.” I’ll then grab the bakery box full of tasty treats, tear off the ties and select the most chocolaty, the most nutty, the most chewy of confections and hand them around to everyone.

Including the Cat.

... and that’s how I live it.