Creating Pathways

Throwing open the front door, a shot of frigid air slapped my face and numbed my fingers. Heavy snowflakes quickly perched on my sleeve and many more were loading up the street, sidewalks, and the front steps. Swirling, dancing, floating and then landing. An awesome eye view of a fairy winter wonderland.

Soon, it would be close to two feet of wintry mix. The child in me was dashing about putting on heavy gloves and scarf as well as an arctic parka ... I couldn’t wait to jump in and roll a snowman or fashion a snow angel. Yet glued to the floor is the grown-up me—mostly due to the metal implants in my hip and wrist—who is thinking otherwise.

So, I quarantined myself to the living room, snuggled into the comfy couch with a book and a handful of melty chocolate chip cookies. What I have been doing for months was resist an unseen virus. Now I resisted the icy danger. Today, stepping away from the world made good sense.

The snow has finally stopped. I tugged on my boots and grabbed a shovel to clear pathways. I made a clean trail that was safe to assure a reasonable foothold. Life had improved in a matter of minutes. Now I delighted in the frosty air, admiring the glistening snow the trees were showcasing. Scooping up a handful, I molded a smooth ball to throw with all my might....

The day nudges the child aside and pushes the adult in me. The adult wants to arm with the ways and means of the world’s “new normal,” and commandeer this. One where it is possible to be close to others with no worry of harm - to holding tight the sturdy body of my first grandchild, taking in her cherubic cheeks and huge curious brown eyes. Another with holiday feasting at table with loved ones, eyes misting from hearts aglow and a steaming entrée. Still another navigating a carriage about the market and chatting with others at noon rather than a solitary sweep at six in the morning.

I visited my counseling office and stared at my favorite, very seasoned arm chair. As a therapist, there is desire to continue reaching out to others, bring clarity and restore meaning to life—as best I can. I want to extend a listening ear, create an uplifting exchange that is productive. Where there is bit of serendipity with words spoken and unspoken, hearts blending to give and to receive. A professional relationship that weaves an interpersonal embrace, playing forward life lived to the fullest.

Let’s face it, as humans we need contact with one another, the warmth of relationship that is found in certain elements like a firm handshake, a light kiss on the cheek or a pat on the shoulder.

Or a hug.

I really miss hugs.

What’s in a hug anyway?

A hug is being close to one another and sharing the warmth of affection and approval. It’s a brotherly validation that is fully genuine. This kind of hug—sometimes called in Greek, agape – is an unconditional love that relays a sense of wellness and happiness.

In my earlier years, I worked full-time in the rehabilitation field, assisting physically disabled and intellectually/emotionally challenged adults. On my own I would often volunteer in varied activities such as the non-professional Special Olympics. One year I was invited to assist at these games in a very unusual way in the capacity of a “hugger.”

My purpose was to provide encouragement to every player— male or female, winner or loser, by offering an embrace, a good word or a pat on the back. At times I would laugh and cry with participants or dance about in glee. Winning was not essential. A positive attitude in the spirited attempt to accomplish was. Effort meant everything.

Participants went home better than they came, including me. Sharing those hugs gave me a feeling of wellness I can still savor.

For now, the hug can be found in our commonality seen in fortitude, courage, kindness and perseverance. But winter is ebbing and soon blades of grass will peak green.

In time, we will find a better way.

… and that’s how I live it.