Finding the Calm - Call a Counselor

Toilet paper has found its way bountifully stacked on market shelves—in most stores—as well as eggs and bread. Most importantly found are antibacterial hand products and facial masks to maintain germ reduction. To strengthen these safeguards, social distancing had been firmly advised. We have enabled ourselves to be diligent and stay away from one another. Just yell from across the street …making sure to keep a six-foot distance. (My cane helps with this).

Why? Because I want to be alive in the morning. So, I appreciate the directives and try to follow through. But these behaviors can be so difficult since we need each other more than ever. Social contact is still essential… engaging with family, friends, neighbors and even chatting with a sales associate at the drugstore. Yet survival has kicked in and many are treading rough waters. Maintaining a job. Paying the rent. Buying groceries. Keeping the car on the road. There’s a huge amount of anxiety, uncertainly, loneliness and depression.

We need help!

Stay calm, and call a counselor—the maxim encourages.

And how do you do this, exactly? You have limited behavioral health insurance, limited dollars in your wallet, limited desire to frequent public places. Seems like counseling isn’t an option.

But it is.

Telehealth services are available and becoming more popular every day. A valuable connection can be made to secure counseling service by using your phone and/or computer. Many professionals will adjust payment depending on your pocketbook. Others may establish a pro bono status allowing for complimentary visits. However you choose, these helping people are in your tech corner.

If for whatever reason, you find that using such technology is not for you, you may prefer to meet in an office setting where you can engage in a face-to face exchange—with a seasoned professional, perhaps even me. The floor will be all yours. You can tell your story. And without distraction, your story will be heard.

As we are introduced to one another, a variety of important behaviors are witnessed and reviewed. Your presence will reveal much. Upon entering the room, your overall bodily posture and gait is noticed. Perhaps your head is bent down with shoulders’ drooping and you amble in with an awkward step. Your clothing is disheveled, and your facial hair has a strong four o’clock shadow at nine in the morning. You choose the couch where you plop down. Or perhaps you visit the office wearing a striking pink pant suit with a matching silk top. Your hair is styled just so, with make-up done to rose like perfection. Posturing is perfect and diction even more. You settle regally and cross one leg over another, your hands comfortably poised. I may wonder why you are here at all. But then a flash of anger whips across your face, lips stuck in a tight grimace. Hmm.

Now to begin.

Well, not yet. Now is your moment to check me out. This is when I hope my outfit leans towards professionalism and is not inside out and backwards. I fluff my hair a bit and wonder if my mascara is running. I glance at my shoes and notice the muddy puddle I stepped in has created a kind of etch design and my stocking has a long run in it. Ugh. You head is down … you have noticed as well. But as I catch your eye, you nod playfully and smile.

Now we can begin. What is there to talk about? Everything. Anything in particular? Yes, all kinds of life issues from given relationships or lack of, education, employment and finances, housing, personal loss/death, marriage and family, health issues. Then flow the host of accompanying emotions— from anxiety to depression, frustration to anger, and many, many more.

Every issue that matters to you, matters to me. You may have quite a list. So how do we hike your life trail? One lumpy path at a time. But before we venture forward it is important to review the complete picture … your history to the present moment. Most likely your hiking has yielded a measure of success. Until this moment. Now you stand at a detour scrutinizing a field of briars, wondering how to cut a new path.

Sitting in seat, you may recount times past, providing a plethora of detail. Or the now may dominate. This current situation has inhibited your journey. It gushes out. Perhaps you are the kind of person who sizes up the forest slope and does not venture out right away. So you tiptoe for a while. Yet the full story will prompt the best result; that is an improved you.

To find that improved place, we begin where you are most comfortable. Then I can be of assistance to you. At this point enters the element of trust—with the mutual decision to yield to the process of the counseling relationship. You trust me to keep confidence with your story and I trust your story to carry genuine conviction. Together we are negotiating the countryside, seeking that resolve at trail’s end.

Now you ask, how long will counseling go on? As long as it takes. Some individuals present with a crisis and prefer a single session. Others realize that to fully achieve success takes time. To replace one behavior with another requires constant attention, so the desired way of being can flow easily. This process can take several sessions, weeks or months. But the more effort put in will often yield a promising response so you can be back on your trail, sure and steady.

But you say, all this change is not so easy. Does the professional, who probably lives life seamlessly, have any idea of the kind of troubled waters drowning the client? Really?

I pause, reflecting for a moment. “I have been in your seat.”

Eyes are locked, mine with determination, his with curiosity. He nods for me to go on.

“College years overwhelmed me. It was a constant struggle to tread water. I had to work at a drug store to pay for school, I had to go to school to get a better job that would pay the rent and upgrade my junky car and put some hamburger in the refrigerator.” I took a breath and said,” Campus Counseling showed me different ways to cope … helping me to endure and make the best choices."

”Clearing my throat, I continued. “There was another instance when I sought out a helping professional. At that time, I was married, raising four small children, involved with a household and part-time work duties. Again, there was so much going on. I was the soccer mom, trying to make everyone happy.” I nodded at my client. “Talking with someone really helped. I found ways to let some things go and explore other possibilities. And plan new goals. It was like sitting on a park bench, breathing in fresh air and new ideas."

He nodded back. Taking a deep breath, his story spilled out. I did what counselor’s do—I fully attended to him and listened. Forthright therapeutic responses were given as our connection tightened and we fell into a therapeutic zone where the walls seemed to disappear. And blue-sky clarity greeted us.

We were off to a very productive start.

***

Many of us could use the help of a good counselor. There are so many issues in life which are now compounded by a world pandemic, social uprising with protesting in the street, and unsettled weather patterns producing hurricanes and tropical storms. Perhaps it is time to call a counselor so as to stay calm and realize a good way to experience life.

… and that’s how I live it.