Just Humor Me

So what's with the clown hat? Because I wear it often. Laughter gets me thorough things. There's plenty of drama and tragedy to go around ... I prefer to choose the light side and see where that takes me. Like going to the doctor's office. Anxiety can skyrocket, flinging blood pressure and other hormones into the outer limits. Possible results could land me in a hospital bed. Instead the situation is flipped as joke after joke pours out. I become a stand-up comedian in a tattered blue gown. And then something marvelous happens, at least some of the time. After the doctor's eyeballs settle back into his head, reasonable understanding connects two human beings. Laughter diffuses and calms allowing for a reasonable outcome.

Humor can positively fuel emotional energy, lower stress and create a mentally healthy response. I have witnessed this first hand. For many years I spearheaded a business called "Clowning Around." With my face painted white and dressed in in rainbow stripes and swirls the persona of Auntie Gumba emerged. Armed with skits and comical antics, this character from the old country prompted many a smile. Reaching out to youth as well as to seniors, all eyes were on Auntie Gumba as as the audience chuckled and clapped. This quirky, endearing clown -me!- had lifted damp clouds, brightening the mood.

Powerful stuff humor can be. It can brush exciting highlights into the doldrums of our days. Such levity can be useful in many places- the marketplace, work environment, around the kitchen table. And in many more situations.

But really now, can humor be seen in a counseling office? Therapy is serious business. Can one make light of someone's pain? Wouldn't such behavior aggravate and upset, yielding harm rather than help? Indeed professional intervention could be stalled if not halted altogether. So it may be best to side step this tactic.

Yes, such consideration is right on the mark. Counseling efforts look to avoid causing personal offense; tactfully measuring out words. However effective use of humor looks not to put someone on the defensive. Instead it puts one at ease as the professional session embraces a tasteful comedic moment. This humor offers a gentle touch like seasoning salt and pepper; the right amount at the right moment. Perhaps given as an friendly greeting or when it appropriately works. The relationship between client and counselor is enhanced fortifying a mutual understanding with that bit of mirth and a gleam in the eye.

An example always helps. A young woman I will call Ms. Tee had been visiting the office for sometime. She had a bevy of concerns, yet one in particular had to do with the weather. She loved the three H's- hazy, hot and humid. Sundresses were her delight and during the summer months leaning into the Fall, she was "dressed to the nines" in her seasonal frock. One day she came in and stated she was relocating to a warmer climate to enjoy the heat and wear sundresses year round. "Safe travels", I said validating her bravado but realizing that sadly our counseling journey would come to an end.

But one day she returned. It was an exceedingly hot day. Ms. Tee came in flushed and sweaty, patting her face with water from her water bottle. Quickly I passed the tissue box and she grabbed handfuls as she swiped her neck, nodding as she spoke. "Well I'm here. Wouldn't you know I can't stand living in hot places anymore. I had to move back. Something has changed. Maybe I'm just getting older but I really hate the heat! I want it to end so I can put on a jacket and take a brisk walk. I think that before I was crazy but now I'm normal. What do you think?"

"Well to be honest, today I bought a nice dress for a special event and went to try it on. But being so sweated up, I had to yank and tug to get it on and then ... I couldn't get it off! The dress had stuck around my shoulders and neck. It wouldn't budge over my head!"

A pause.

Eyes opened wide in disbelief.

Then peals of laughter. Not just chuckling mind you, but belly shaking giggles followed by and a happy tearing. A rosy glow filled our faces and lightened our hearts. A kind of bonding that had not occurred before, happened. Humor had forged our shared perspectives energizing our session.

Like I said before, humor can get us through things. Laughter can make the difference.

Yes, a smile can really go a long way.

... and that's how I live it.