Take Courage

Have you ever been afraid?

Fear. It is that dreadful feeling that swirls like a hurricane in the core of your being. It is generally due to something that unravels your composure. The brain becomes scrambled, the tongue goes to mumbles and your knees quiver. Almost like grasping the mane on a wild stallion. But being afraid can be valuable. Fear can fuel a survival instinct; warning you to either fight or run away as fast as you can.

We have all been there. Wrestling the unknown and worrying about the now … the future … and past events that could happen again.

Yet we can consider a powerful response.

As a child, I did not like the dark—especially at bedtime. The parental rule was to either keep the bedroom door open and the hall light off or the door closed and the light on. Ugh. Really no option at all. The door stayed open as I shivered in bed.

Then there was a flicker. Following the dancing light, I sat upon my favorite top stair and gazed down. The golden glow of the electric candelabra warmed and delighted. Surrounding darkness softened into stillness.

Peace.

Stepping into adolescence there was always something scary. Mine was recess especially when we played baseball. It was a sport broadcasting my lack of skill witnessed in the selection process. Very intimidating. As the captains lined the players up, I wondered if something good would happen. Instead my hands went clammy … I was picked dead last. Then came the flush of embarrassment.

But not anymore.

Time was short, the winter winds already nipping. Finding a glove, ball and bat, I threw pitch after pitch against the garage, praying I would catch one. Tossing baseballs in the air, I swung hard with an old wooden bat. Fully engrossed, even the call to supper and evening dust did not distract me.

Now I stood taller in the selection line. Success! I was picked third to last. Next year would be even better.

Hope.

Years moved on. Uncertainties nudged … figuring what college to attend, where to work, buying a used car and the toughest one—will I get married? Many of my friends were planning weddings. I pondered these things as my hands guided material through the sewing machine, my sixth bridesmaid dress. Perhaps marriage was not for me.

One day I was tucked into a lovely gown and veiled. The organ played favorite hymns; floral scents filled the church as everyone turned to look … at me. Attempting to step forward, my lacy form refused to budge. From the altar, my fiancé smiled and nodded. Holding his gaze, I followed the bridesmaids up the aisle. Apprehension lifted as the moment filled with promise and my heart with gladness. I was no longer afraid.

Love.

Challenges continue.

Take courage. May this year bring you peace, hope and love—energized with resolve to try all things new.

Johnna Gurr, MS, LPC, NCC is a licensed professional counselor in the New Haven area. Ms. Gurr can be contacted at jgbalancelife@yahoo.com or 203-562-8728.