When Things Are Not Just Right

Today I woke up feeling a bit funny. Something was off. Usually this was not so. The few moments before rising were filled with the expectation of beginning a new day. Opportunity was calling. Lists were yelling and accomplishments were yearning to be crossed off. Often all is sandwiched with the mustard of a million simple thoughts and actions. But today mind and body were conflicted like sour pickles and marshmallow fluff.

This sad, melancholy time is called depression. There are all sorts of reasons many individuals have experienced this heaviness of being. For some this malady may ease up and dissipate, but for others it can linger indeterminately. Depression can be witnessed as a storm cloud perching low and releasing heavy downpours. It is often experienced with a visceral pain in the core of our being—the heart actually aches. The mind becomes foggy and begins to fill with negative thoughts. This confusion can then erupt into both negative words and actions. The body is so weighed down, there is no spring in the walking shoe.

Sitting across from me in the counseling office have been many individuals who have experienced severe depressive symptoms where a thunderhead of doom continues to follow them. This depression becomes a foreboding continuum, deeply embedded physically and emotionally in the body’s chemical processes. Despair and hopelessness abound. Effective direct counseling can help. A combination of therapy and regulated medication can help even more. The best hoped scenario is when the emotional turmoil lifts and a renewed direction is considered and embraced.

Getting back to my morning, yes, I was a bit off … what was happening? As I attempted to stand, I was slammed with throbbing in my hip and lower back. It was jarring, startling pain that took my breath away. Confusion wrapped around my brain and a tight hollow feeling grasped my innards. I was scared and saddened at the same time. How could this be?

I wanted to climb back into the cozy covers and pull the pillows close.

I could have done that.

But I didn’t. Instead, I pulled myself out of the warm comforters. I decided to do what I could now. And that was to head downstairs, make coffee and call the doc for an appointment. I made a choice to be well in body and mind. Depression was knocking hard at the front door, but I refused to welcome this guest.

There are always options - windows that can be slid open to bring in a fresh viewpoint that could greatly improve things. Maybe not perfect … those times when things are just right where the gentle ocean prompts the refreshing breezes, the cool white sands soothe the feet as the billowing wave blows sea broth.

But things could be much, much better.

So for today there will be energized thoughts moving forward with deliberated steps. I will do what I can with the resources given me. There’s a quote from Theodore Roosevelt that heartens me in such times. You may wish to savor it as well. It goes like this …“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

… and that’s how I live it.